Well,I've just deleted a post, cos i felt damn bad scolding. Hahhaa, sorry. I really feel damn mean. I shouldn't scold that much next time.


Okay, today is a bad day. I just got scolded by my dad for my results. I am really very sad now. Dont feel like talking to anyone. Scolded me damn badly. Wanted to cry, but i hate crying in front of him. I feel like im acting pitiful, but i am not. I hate it when my parents despise me from the words they say. Last time, if my dad said like that, i would long ago have cried. For some reasons, i am angry. But i am also disappointed in my results. I wanna pour everything out in my blog. But for some reasons, something is stopping me. I really hate being despised and look down on. I HATE IT. I FUCKING HATE IT. Just now, as i was reading TKAM, and thinking about what my dad scolded about me, i did teared. Not really teared, but got water. I didnt let it drop though. Just sorta wiped it away. I dont want to cry because my dad scold me. I hate my dad for scolding me, even if he was right, cos he always talks so harshly. I think he did thought of my feelings, but he wasn't aware that i really did my best in studying. But not in the timing lah. But he dont even know that this is my first time getting so high for lit and SS. I passed SS for the first timein my whole SECONDARY school life okay. He asked if i was stupid. I said im not, but he said he didnt want to say me stupid, but im alr in NA. ANd im going to fail Ns, and i spent 4 years studying in NA, just to fail my N. Well, it's okay lah. Sometimes i have to keep things to myself. He also didnt know that i did sooo well for my ENG last term. He also didnt know that my chem got damn high for the first time in history, ever since i remembered.

Damn everything that goes wrong and doesn't go my way. Fuck you.

Okay, all right.Im back to blogging after mid-years. Hahaha, so happy. Im relaxing here! :D I GOT QUITE USED NOT USING COM FOR 2 WEEKS. HAHAH. So didnt really feel anything, But TV is damn tempting. Hahah, but anw, thank God mid-years are over, I can just die from it! ):

Hahaha, i have so many things to blog about that idk where i should start from! HAHA,okay! My eyesare back. ): My damn infection. It's super irritating, cos it's the second time.That time i went TTSH to see a doc, and my dad spent 80 bucks in total. Like wth luhh. -.- For just a damn doc leh. And im not gonna see another doc this time. Im just gonna let it stay like that until it heals. Well, if it doesn't heals, then i dont care. I might just dig it out or smth. Not going back to waste that damn 80 bucks okay. It's damn ex, and my family is not so rich. I AM DAMN ANGRY WITH MY EYE OKAY. Wanted to go buy the eyedrop the doc gave me last time, cos it expired, and it worked last time. But the damn person said i can't purchase it directly. I needa get a doc's prescription ( sp? ) . So im damn sad lah. It is quite pain when i blink. ): I want it to heal faster, but it can't. I know normal people like you guys dont have these eye thing. But it's damn frustrating, and pressurising okay. You all dont understand how i feel. Nvm. And it's not the cause of contacts uh. Thanks.

[Edited] I kept thinking abt something these few days, and during mid-years. I have been left out, and it's okay, cos i always have been. It's time i get used to such things,and not get sad with. And i guess it's time to know my limitations, that i am me, and i can't change the things in me, and they way i communicate with people. I should know that when people prefer others than me, they will ignore me. I have been experiencing all these since i was in sec 1. I should learn to be alone, cos i am meant to be. This is not specially meant for anybody. I am just saying what i really think. Not angry with anyone.


There are really some nice people out there that sometimes do carefor me. They are real nice, but im not close to them. (:

I really had so much things to say, but i forgot. Ohh, i kinda and sorta went out with ama and joanne ytd. Cos they wanted to go TP1, but too late, so they accompanied me to TTSH, and went to novena to shop and look around. So, i went with them, since they sacrificed their time to accompany me. Haha. I shared the korea rice cake with joey. :D I think it's quite nice, cos it's a lil' spicy. HAHA! :D

Okay, i shall stop here now. I think i must learn to put my faith in God, and let him guide me through. I really want God to help me through this problem. I dont want it to happen again. But i just can't seem to put my trust in him.): I really need help. I want him to heal me. But i kept blaming him, and crying out to him, why am i the one having this damn red eyes. I think i am beginning to go further away from him, because of this. I know i shouldn't. But idk why i am doing this.): I am very unhappy.